TEH LIST OF CANONZ

TAKEN - RESERVED - AVAILABLE


Lost

Jack "J-Shepz" "DJ Jears" Shephard (the new Jeminem)
Kate Austen (Virgin hobo potato-grower reject from the Iowa Ballet)
James "Sawyer" Ford (Professor Emeritus in 18th Century Agrarian Politics)
John Locke (Teh Paraplegic HAXZ0RZ with a vow of silence)
Hugo "Hurley" Reyes (thinks he is King Arthur)
Charlie Pace (Preacher/Televangelist - catchphrase: "Pokemon is heathen!")
Claire Littleton (Uber-nerdy chicken sexer with braces and glasses)
Boone Carlyle (French maid)
Shannon Rutherford (Avril-style punk-rock skater chick)
Sayid Jarrah (Hair stylist)
Sun-Hwa Kwon (Elephant tamer in the Circus of Korea)
Jin-Soo Kwon (Elephant tamer in the Circus of Korea)
Michael Dawson (Aretha Franklin drag queen who headlines in Las Vegas)
Walt Lloyd (Spoiled brat with a demon parrot named Damian who speaks only to him)
Ana Lucia Cortez (Bubblegum conglomerate CEO)
Elizabeth "Libby" Franklin (Murder mystery smut writer)
Eko Tunde (incredibly incompetant Luff Boat doctor)
Rose Henderson (Nymphomaniac)
Bernard Nadler (Mall Santa Claus)
Benjamin Linus (Bunny Man)
Alex Linus (Hippie/Polar Bear Manicurist)
Karl (Ben's pet monkey)
Danielle Rousseau (Chef of the Interstellar Luff Boat)
Desmond Hume (Herbal Essences ambassador)
Juliet Burke (Airheaded supermodel)
Richard Alpert (Rodeo clown)
Daniel "D-Day" "Pymp Daddy" Faraday (Pymp Daddy)
Charlotte Staples Lewis (Uptight party planner)
Miles Straume (Chinchilla farmer/Animal Lover)
Frank Lapidus (Shoe salesman)
Charles "Squiddy Widdy" Widmore (Manager of Widmore's Fried Squid)
Penelope Widmore (Flying nanny)
Christian Shephard (drunken vampire)
Winston Q. P. J. Smokerson (incredibly posh and interstellar butler)
Vincent (golden labrador retriever; ship's captain)


Firefly

Mal Reynolds (split personality: Captain Hammer)
Zoe Washburne (Wash's only skanky ho)
Hoban "Wash" "W-Dawg" Washburne (failed but in-denial pymp daddy; rival to D-Day)
Jayne Cobb (River's chihuahua)
Kaylee Frye (pet mortician who likes to secretly kill pets just to stuff them)
Inara Serra (Captain Vincent's concubine/pooper scooper)
Simon Tam (wannabe Casanova; speaks only in lolcat)
River Tam (Paris Hilton type socialite/chihuahua enthusiast)
Derrial Book (shoemaker who thinks everyone is an elf come to steal his job)
Saffron (Shy, Mousey, Bookworm with No Social Skills)


House

Gregory House (sensitive support-group leader who is not afraid to cry)
Allison Cameron (badass biker-chick puppy-hater)
Robert Chase (angry-biker-man-who-sucks-at-biking by day, Boone's French maid coworker by night)
Eric Foreman (red shirt salesman)
Lisa Cuddy (dominatrix pympdaddy daddy)
James Wilson (extremely incompetant hitman)


Battlestar Galactica

William Adama (host of Deadliest Catch)
Lee "4P0110" "BringerOfLight247" "ApolloViper" Adama (hardcore gamer and Locke's rival; allergic to fish)
Kara "Starbuck" Thrace (hippie kindergarten teacher who suffers from rage blackouts)
Laura Roslin (thinks she is the Cylon in Baltar's head)
Saul Tigh (frontman for a death metal group)
Karl "Helo" Agathon (owner of a banana stand)
Sharon "Boomer" Valerii (1950s Beautician with a Beehive and Poodle Skirt)
Gaius Baltar (Gaius Baltar)
Number Six (schizophrenic halloween ghost/puppy rights activist)
Felix Gaeta (zombie in disguise; runs the advice column "Dear Lt Gaeta")
Galen "Chief" Tyrol (sells wigs and wig-cleaning vacuum cleaners)
Samuel T. Anders (Duck Man; has a duck on his head but doesn't know it)
Tom Zarek (frycook at Widmore's Fried Squid)
Anastasia "Dee" Dualla (thinks she is a Pokemon)
D'Anna "Number Three" Biers (Xena: Warrior Princess)


Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy Summers (cavegirl)
Willow Rosenberg (personal trainer; accepts only female clients, and hits on them)
Xander Harris (swimsuit model with a speech impediment)
Rupert Giles (struggling theatre actor/drag queen)
Daniel "Oz" Osbourne (an animalphobe who talks to himself constantly)
Dawn Summers (centaur)
Anya Jenkins (bunny woman, Ben's rival)
Tara Maclay (boy-crazy teen tabloid magazine editor)
Spike (life of the party, retired soap opera actor; played a tortured doctor with an eyepatch)
Faith Lehane (insanely happy, talks in inspirational slogans)
Andrew Wells (thinks he is the Slayer and everyone else are vampires)


Angel

Angel (Glinda the Good Witch; wears the same outfit and everything)
Cordelia Chase (Elphaba/the Wicked Witch of the West; Angel's rival/bff)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce (spandex-clad professional wrestler alter-ego)
Charles Gunn (preppy rich guy, never worked, afraid of everything, bad with girls; think Fresh Prince's Carlton)
Winifred "Fred" Burkle (country western superstar; like Dolly but better)
Lorne (rogue demon hunter...in the s1 Wesley sort of way)
Harmony Kendall (Harmony Kendall)
Connor (believes he is the mighty hero Hercules and tries constantly to make D'Anna fall in love with him)
Lindsey McDonald (Texan florist/wannabe serial killer with an evil hand)
Lilah Morgan (suffers from short term memory loss, falls in love with everyone she meets)